Marriage is a beautiful journey which is so much revered in our part of the world. It’s a beautiful beginning to a whole new phase of life. The ceremony, especially is beautiful.
However, for the couple there is more ahead beyond the optics during the ceremonies. Imagine individuals coming from different backgrounds coming together to start a new life? Over time, the differences begin to show. Unfortunately, some marriages breakdown early due to such differences which were not nurtured right from the onset.
For us young women, we’ve been socialized to get married so when the “opportunities” come our way, we get so excited about it. We get so excited with the prospects of moving out of our parents’ home to our partners so much that we often forget to ask important questions during our courtship and dating. Knowing our kind of society and how issues of divorce is treated, we need to look at making sure our would-be husbands and us talk about possibilities before we agree to settle down with them.
When we decide to settle down with our “Prince Charmings”, we seem to forget to ask of the differences in the upbringings and try to come to an agreement of how we as a new couple will choose our new way of life going forward. Let’s get things serious and start to ask the important questions.
It’s all fun when we are dating and going out and having the best of our lives. But it’s about time young women and men alike, begin to ask and discuss pertinent issues with each other before settling down into marriage. Now we all know and understand that marriage is a big deal and we can’t just get up one day and issue divorce over simple issues that would have probably been addressed in our pre-marital questioning and discussions.
QUESTIONS WE NEED TO DISCUSS WITH OUR WOULD-BE SPOUSES
- What is your view on house chores?
- What is your view on finances?
- What is your view on toddlers being sent to visit relatives?
- What is your view on relatives living in your matrimonial home?
- What is your view on education of your unborn children?
- Who should stay home when the children start coming?
- What plans do you have in place for when you live in a rented apartment? Do you have any short term goals at building a new place to call your home or you want to stay in a rented apartment?
- Do you and your partner believe in communicating to solve your problems or you prefer inviting outsiders to come in to help solve your issues?
- Is your partner an abuser? Do you want to stay in a relationship that physically and emotionally takes your piece of mind away?
- Do you believe in doing medical tests to check your partner’s medical status before you get married?
- What of fertility tests to know if you are compatible?
- Do you plan on giving up your career to stay home? Have you discussed that with your prospective suitor? If the two of you do not agree on your career ambitions, are you willing to give your aspirations up to help him pursue his dream?
- Indeed, marriage is beautiful and fun but then like everything in life, marriage has it’s own challenges and we as individuals and young couples can solve lots of these challenges when we begin to ask real pertinent questions before settling down.
These are some of the questions we think would be couples can discuss before marriage.
What are some of the questions you asked or will ask?