Recently, I felt pain in my lower abdomen and decided to get some rest, and maybe relief. I put my phones off that day. I went to the clinic the next day when the pain persisted. On my return from the clinic, I met a neighbor who asked why she hadn’t heard from me for the past days. I told her i wasn’t feeling well and that I put my phones off to get some rest. She then probed further to find out what exactly was wrong with me. Then I told her my scar from the Ceasarian Section got swollen which has given me some discomfort. She sounded so shocked and went like “You had your daughters via Caesaren Section? Oh you girls of now adays are so lazy!”. Well I didn’t seem shocked by her reaction because even family members tell you that you still haven’t experienced real labour because you didn’t have the kids vaginally.
I told her it wasn’t really about being lazy or my inability to push. We are not wiser than the doctor who recommended that CS was way safer than the vaginal delivery. She went on about how young women cannot stand pain and choose to go under the knife to have their kids. I asked her if anyone in their right senses will want to live their life with a scar directly on top of their vagina? And who wants to enjoy the pain of experiencing first time of motherhood with breast swollen and still nursing a fresh wound? Or is it that those who deliver vaginally do not have to worry about tears down their vagina that prevents them from peeing peacefully for sometime? And so what if the woman chooses Elective CS because she wants to? Which one is your own?
IS RESPECTING SOMEONE’S DECISION THAT HARD?
Why is it so hard to respect people’s choices of child birth in our part of the world? Mothers have reasons they opt for CS which is mostly recommended by their Doctors. Doctors recommend CS for women based on lots of reasons like, Prolonged labour, abdominal positioning, fetal distress, birth defects and chronic health conditions among others. We do not know better than these Doctors who have been in their chosen field for years and whose only responsibility is to make sure that both mother and baby are safe.The health and safety of a mother and child should be of utmost importance to us. But what do we see, people voluntarily or involuntarily, fall into the habit of asking new mothers how they birth their babies. Assuming, a woman has reasons her Doctor recommended CS for her, but because of society’s perception of CS, she refused. What is going to happen to her and her baby? Unfortunately, these situations happen. There are situations where women have refused Doctors advice on birthing through CS and how does it end with those women? Death!
What’s with the mentality that the woman who has her child via vaginal birth is a real woman and those who went under the knife are lesser women?
What I find annoying to my very core is when someone asks “Did you give birth yourself or they did operation for you”? First of all, it’s none of your business how any woman had her child. If you have any empathy inside of you, the first show of concern should be about how the mother and child are doing after going through such experience that no one ever forgets. Show concern and care about the health of the mother and child and keep the unsolicited opinions in your head.
And what do you mean by did a woman give birth herself or she had CS? The question that lingers on my mind always when I hear such statements is, “Did you give birth for her?” what’s with the lack of respect for people’s choices and decisions to keep themselves and their children alive?
If CS is any evil, why will God give knowledge to doctors to be able to save mothers who cannot have their kids vaginally?
I think we should learn to be sensitive to people’s emotions and respect people. Empathy is an important part of our lives and some people don’t really have it.
To the men of God who have made it their business to convince their pregnant following not to undergo a Caesaren Section because it is evil, I really do not blame you because you are not women to have the option of choosing to save yourselves and your children. Most of these decisions don’t really have any bearing on you. Your business is to convince the woman not to do it even when the option of her life being on the line is the only thing that is left.
To husbands who insist their wives have vaginal birth by all means, I still do not blame you because in the end, if someone is going to die, it is not going to be you.
But my greatest concern is for women to be educated and made to know their options during antenatal visits. It’s important women are made to understand that the choice is theirs to make because they own their bodies. You are allowed to discuss your options with your partner but when it comes to the final decision to make, don’t look to “what society will say”. CHOOSE YOU ALL THE TIME.